th-past of szekai, ♥

Friday, July 3, 2009

THE PAST OF ME

As requested by people about sharing my past , this link is up .
Its just one long post saying the road of my past .
First , i got to apologise if its wordy or something boring .
I have got no old pictures of me left .
its going to be all
WORDS

I will be nineteen on 25.08.09
yupps . the story goes ..
..
..
it was like some day, when i in secondary 2 . year 2004
i met some new friends ( i shall not mention names ) .
exchanged number with each other .
met up every weekends dues to having school on weekdays .
yupps , slack around shopping centres , void deck , friend's house .
forgotten to mention , they are smokers .
due to temptation of new stuffs .
i begin to smoke till now , it hard but i am trying to smoke lesser .
we become closer and closer after some time .
got to know that one of them is in gang ( i shall not mention it )
as days past ,
ONE DAY , mid of 2004 . he asked me if i wanted to be his gina (under him)
* they are all older than me
so i begin the wrong road on 17.06.04
was a innocent boy at the time .
did not know much .
call come , got fight went down .
was kind of not active still last time
till end of 2006
after i graduated from secondary school .
i become even deeper into it .
meet one more group of friends same gang
ask me go join theirs .
at the moment of time i did not have my own stand .
so what people say , i will do .
Joined their side .
same old thing .
slack at shopping centre and void deck .
MORE and MORE people join in ,
making us feel so "POWERFUL"
soon ,
FIGHTS came in .
using just fist at first turn into using or knife .
BLOOD started to appear on my road .
not fearing of being caught . continued this way
at the moments ,
i became to climb high .
one step by one step .
its something like dota , unstoppable
soon was just below the head
so many people respected .
used to have a thinking ,
"SHIOK"
hahas , its was last time **
in the early year2007
had many fights , PLENTY of them
or i should have countless .
i have actually lost counts
what more ?
we started paying money to our "head".
every month we need to pay .
thinking back ,
if i did not give the money , i guess i would have save much more ?
started selling contraband cigg for "head"
WE ARE BEING MAKE USED OF
sooo please do forgive .
selling it and money goes to the "head" .
that is some kind of stuffs i did when i am in it too .
time flies ,
PAST SO FAST when we are at coffeeshop .
slack , chats and all sorts .
we never know .
many other "gangs" are aiming us .
we live the life we wanted it to live .
so walk one step , count one step .
once i remember one sentence said by the "head".

" when yoo are in this gang , yoo shall die for this gang "

what nonsense is this ?
but way back , i have it in mind .
i dont know why .
maybe too deep that i never know i am sinking it .
soon the major problem came .
had a serious fight .
police screen serveral of us .
problem came ...
at first 4 "brothers" was caught
and all 4 was sentence to jail .
* or i should really say ,
only 2 i can call them brothers .
others might as well go bang the wall .
weeks past .
we began to tone down without 4 "brothers".
"head" went running road .
bringing me along .
was kind of surprise
went run road for 2 weeks
i came back to Singapore on my REQUEST !
finally got to smell the air of singapore .
how wonderful it is .
so thought nothing had happen .
never to my thoughts ,
many people from our "gang" had been detain and questions by police .
i shall not mention the names ,
but i will continue saying what happen .
they were so great "brothers" indeeed ,
shooting out my name to the police .
making me WANTED by police ;
i was caught
middle in the night around 2am +
by CID who came knocking on my door .
went back cantonment(headquarter) with them in handcuffs .
so shall not mention what happen inside
but i was detain as long as around 2 days plus !
the feeling inside was ain't any good .
i was charge against on headman .
when i heard this news ,
my heart stopped beating somehow like for 3 seconds .
many thing flash across my mind
and many thing reappear on my mind .
many sentences said by "head" came in my mind too .
though it is not end of the world or end of the life .
if really went in , it would be 4years to 5 years in prision .
i did not know what happen .
or what really help me
maybe it is study which help me through this stage .
i pleaded guilty on court .
and
it kind of miracle i should say ,
i was not given probation or tagging .
i was given a strict warning by the judge .
and my record will be ease in 5 years time
, many thing happen during the year 2007 .
yupps . decided to come back to the original road used to be walking .
for 1 year plus ,
i did not have the face to meet up with my old friends .
yupps . its true ,
school and home
home and school.
this was the only two places i show face at .
for 1 year plus .
i did not know how i did it ,
but i know .
i have done it ,
turn over a new leaf .

*think twice before making any decision, it may affect your whole life